Tag Archives: Online Dating

How not to woo a lady.

May 7, 2011 6:01 pm ,

I’ve been dating awhile. I’m not saying I’m an expert, I’m also not knocking all men. Just this one.

After just one sip of my coffee, and five minutes of listening to this 29 year old douchebag I wanted to feign a heart attack, just so the lovely paramedics would save me from his bullshit and boasting.

Seeing as he was 29, I expected him to be mature; fail. I found him witty during our online messaging, but in person; fail.

We started talking about travel: usually a safe topic – not this time! Now I’m not one to judge what people do with their own money and life, but it’s the way he told me the stories (most of which I think to be total bullshit). His year round trip with his now ex girlfriend cost him $60,000. He told me; “I blew $60,000 drinking around the world.” Really? Should I be impressed? His first stop was Thailand where he “ditched” (his word) his girlfriend and went out drinking with a guy he’d met that day. Continuing with the travel topic he told me of his trip to the UK, apparently he doesn’t remember any of the countries as he was “drunk the whole time”. He even got pulled over in the UK for drink driving but the cops let him off. Yep, I totally believed that one too.

Next we talked of work, I was hoping this topic wouldn’t bring out his boasting and bullshit. I was wrong. Apparently he was promoted to second in charge of the whole company within a month of being there. This could be plausible, except that he’d already told me his boss had to save him from a DUI charge in his first week. Really? A DUI then shot to the top of the company in three weeks? Smells like bullshit to me.

I asked him what he was up to tonight, to change the topic, he then launched into a song and dance about how his friends have all headed off to Raro for a week, “I have friends like that, they just take off on holidays”. Cool. These friends also own like “13 boats” each. Yeah. But he told me not to worry (because I totally was!), he had some female friends – which he referred to as “skanks” – one of which has “slept with over 100 men”, who wanted to take him out partying tonight. I told him to be careful, she’s probably diseased. He laughed. I had my serious face on.

There was so much more boasting and bullshit, but if I keep going you’ll think I’m making it up!

By this point, when he finally asked me a question (because so far the conversation had been all him, him, him), “why, what are you doing tonight?” – I don’t normally have the balls, but he had enraged me so much and I really didn’t care what he thought that my reply was simple.

“Shaving my legs and watching Coronation Street repeats. I must be off now!”

I was up, he came near for a hug, I waved and walked off.

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Snow, spas and scandal are on!

August 28, 2009 11:25 am , Leave a Comment ,

The day has arrived! YUS! Myself and two gorgeous girlies are road tripping to the snow, Ohakune to be exact, this afternoon. I am in the best mood! Ha!

Apparently there is a dance party on down there on Saturday night. I wasn’t aware of that! We’ll have to check it out! You will have to check back for the scandal parts ;) .

Last night I met up for a drink with some girls I went to high school with. We were all in different social circles, but had one economics class together that somehow bonded us. I love catching up with these girls. We don’t do it regularly or often enough, just sporadic dates two or three months apart. But when we catch up it’s just like old times, sitting in our economics class, driving the poor teacher insane as he constantly tells us to shut up and do some work. Poor man. We annoyed the shit out of him with our constant chatter, but really he loved us, we never got in trouble. Ha! Or maybe that was just an example of half-arsed teaching?

Oh and in other news; I am back on one of the dating websites. Not sure why really. As a friend said to me, “you’re a glutton for punishment!” Yes, yes I am. I have been on there a few days and I’m already over it. Haha! So yes, this could be a very short lived round two of crazy-men-online, because yes – they are crazy!

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Just relax woman!

August 1, 2009 11:14 am , 1 Comment ,

So my online dating total has now hit four. Haha. Yes sound kind of lame really, but after the first two disasters I was very skepitcal and picky on then men I was messaging and took longer to chat to them before actually meeting them. I have had many people online and offline ask me about the success of my article, to be honest, not a lot. I did have a slightly awkward conversation with a guy at uni though…

“Bronnie M*********?” my heart sunk, as he asks while interrupting my conversation with my best friend. She raises her eyebrows at me.
“Ah, yip, hey!”
“Hey, oh sorry, I saw you cross the road and thought I recognised you…” he quickly tries to save himself.
“Oh that’s cool, where from?” I’m trying to play dumb here in the hopes it’s not how I think it is.
“Well you’ve been in my accounting classes for a couple of years now, but I also saw your article in the paper…”
Oh. Holy. Shit.
Insert nervous laugh from moi.
“So, what website are you on?” … he continues.
I tell him, while secretly hoping he’s not going to sign up and try message me through it, because really that would be kind of odd now.
“You’ve got real confidence coming up and saying hi.” I tell him. “Most guys would have just looked and laughed to themselves.”
“Oh no” he starts, his hand on his heart. “My heart is pounding like crazy!”
Awwwww.

I still see him around uni, he smiles and lifts his eyebrows at me. We haven’t spoken since that day. And he didn’t stalk me on the dating site.

I met my third dater last week. We met up for a movie. He is Mr Army Man. He’s gorgeous. He text me the next day after our movie and continued to all week. We talked on facebook chat while he was visiting family down south. It was then that he asked if I’d like to catch up when he was back. Of course! So Thursday just been he took me out for dinner. He picked me up from my house. We enjoyed dinner and flirty chat. It was all so easy. Yay! Then after dinner he suggested we go for a coffee, so we did. He dropped me home. There was no kissing or touching, apart from a bit of arm brushing while sitting on a couch at the coffee shop. Ten minutes or so after I’d hopped into bed there was a text from him. Just general chit chat and saying he had a good night.

So now I am in the dilemma of not knowing where we are/going. But I woke up this morning with the realisation that we don’t need a label or a plan. God, Bron! Can’t I just accept he’s taking me out to dinner and maybe he’s one of those sweet ones you rarely come across who want to take it slowly? I’m not used to it! Haha. I’m used to a guy trying to get some action, so when this one hasn’t, I’m thinking – is he actually into me? I know… I’m an accountant, I analyse. It is my worst trait.

My fourth dater I met for coffee, he’s not even worth talking about. After sitting with him for an hour, we headed our separate ways and once I reached my car, I got a text from him. “I’d love you in bed, haha“. THAT is what I am talking about… I think I’ll stick to Mr Army Man. We’ll see how it progresses…

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IT'S EFFING HUGE!

July 19, 2009 1:50 pm , 6 Comments ,

The photo of me in the newspaper I meant. Whatsmore, I don’t like the photo. Haha. Lots of people have said it’s a nice one of me. I disagree. I think they’re just trying to be nice because I’m in an article for online dating, loser! But no, the article is OK by me. She didn’t make me seem Miss Desperado, so I’m happy. It also means I get to cross #86 off my 100 things list.

I’m now being badgered by friends and family… “so have your message numbers on the website gone up?“. The truth is, no. The article has only been out since this morning, and really are people going to match the two up? I don’t think so.

As my mum said to me; “well at least you don’t do things by half, Bron!“.

Posted in: Daily, Interestingness, love life , Tagged: , , ,

can you make me look like a supermodel?

July 17, 2009 11:35 am , 1 Comment ,

To my boss:

“Now, please remember that you hired me for my fantastic accounting, administration and customer service skills, and not the crazy shit that I seem to get myself into…. there’s a photography crew turning up at 2pm…”

He just rolled his eyes at me and asked:

“Oh God, Bron! What have you done now?”

Ah yes, I’ve done it again. I’m nuts I know. I agreed to an interview and a photograph to be published in the Sunday Herald regarding myself and… wait for it…

*long pause*

*breathe*

online dating.

Yes. Sometime this year I must have grown a huge pair. Because lately I have felt confident and not afraid to try new things and enter into these strange situations that the old me would normally run and hide from. I’m hoping this new me knows what she’s doing and it all doesn’t end in tears and new-big-balls-Bron hiding in her bedroom crying for days on end.

Posted in: Daily, Interestingness, What's the Goss? , Tagged: , , ,