You know when you first start dating someone new and it’s all awkward and you don’t want to be too much of yourself in case you scare them? Yeah. That. Only I have been myself and it hasn’t spooked him. Maybe it’s because he’s a bit older? Maybe he’s just a real man that doesn’t spook easy? I have no idea. But even with my brashness and impatient ways he seems to have stuck around.
Sure there’s been moments, like over the weekend when I was travelling one way and him another and we barely spoke due to reception issues. But then back to London and all is well. His work has him on a busy schedule for the next two weeks, but he’s promised to take me on another date. And then this morning I received a lovely text saying he couldn’t wait to see me. Swoon. I do love the beginnings of a new romance. And by God it’s been awhile!!
It’s early, but I’m feeling positive.
All contact has been cut. But of course I’m human and online multimedia means there’s always ways to see.
It feels like it’s being rubbed in my face and it’s fucking awful.
There were conversations and things said, but now it appears those didn’t actually mean anything.
I need a distraction.
Back on it. For a number of reasons:
- Coming to grips with heartbreak
- My Fitness Pal
I’m finally in a good place in regards to my heartbreak. The first few weeks I was a mess. I won’t go into it again, but thanks to an amazing bunch of friends, family and even my boss who’ve listened to me in my confused state, and even to the man who broke my heart I feel like I’m finally looking at it with not just an emotional point of view, but logically too. Really bad timing. But I’m moving forwards.
I’ve managed to find myself addicted to My Fitness Pal. If you’re looking for a way to lose, maintain or even gain weight – this is your friend. I kid you not, this morning I exercised for an hour just so I could log the calories burned. It’s working for me!
With every sunset London is getting closer and my excitement is growing. I’ve now let my boss know that I will be resigning in July, he’s not worried so long as I find him – I quote – “a trainable hamster with a personality”. He’s all class. An exciting update is that I caught up with a friend of a friend on Monday at the Laneway Festival as she was back in Auckland visiting from London where she works in recruitment… wait for it… predominantly in the finance and accounting industry. Meant. To. Be. So I’ve sent her my CV and she’s stripped it and fattened it in the perfect format for London and I am so very grateful to her. Now that baby sings my praises. I’d hire me.
I know London is not going to be all tea and scones, and pints in 100 year old pubs – well the first week will be – in fact I’ve been informed it’s going to be very difficult. I’m too excited and know too many amazing people over there to worry about this sort of thing right now. Possibly closer to the time.
Lastly, I applied for this amazing opportunity to be a travel blogger throughout NSW for the month of March – beyond brilliant. While I don’t want the competition, I feel it’s only fair to advise people as only those who are actually looking will find it. Fingers crossed!
It’s very hard to believe that I left 2011 on such a happy note. Having fallen in love with an amazing man and having him return the same affection. We had plans, ideas and so many fun thoughts in mind for the year ahead that I was excited beyond belief.
However by day six of this year it all crumbled and fell. We both still completely want each other and feel emotionally crippled by the situation. Basically he was made to choose, by a third party. A choice he really only had one possible answer to. It didn’t include me.
I have cried so much over the past couple of days – I never thought it possible. I’ve never had my heart broken like this – another thing I never thought possible. I’m heading back to work tomorrow for the start of a new year. I have never felt this deflated or emotionally exhausted after a Christmas break like I am right now. I keep telling myself that work will keep me busy. Forget him. You deserve so much better than this. If only it were so easy to switch off feelings and block someone from your head and your heart.
I know I will get over him in time, it will just take longer than normal – as knowing we still want to be together is tearing me apart.
Good God 2012, please improve. You can’t get much worse.
So I didn’t think it was possible – but the man blew me away again! He booked a restaurant for our date this week at a French place called Pastis. He remembered a conversation we’d had about food (we both love the stuff!) and that I’d mentioned I wanted to try escargots. I got to. Oh my God they are good! If you’re ever given the opportunity I insist you try them. They will definitely not be my last plate of escargots!
So we shared an entree of escargots and the terrine. Amazing. Then for our main we had the ox rib. Once again – amazing! We finished off by sharing a creme brulee – one of my all time favourite desserts. Of course each course was matched by a delicious wine.
The booking of the restaurant, the choice of amazing food, the delicious wine to match, nor the fact he remembered I wanted to try escargots was the thing that blew me away. It was that he ordered and conversed with the waiter the entire time in French! I had no idea. So sexy.
As we were walking back to his place afterwards my feet were starting to hurt in my beautiful new black leather heels (why must they do that?!). He put his arm around me and said “while those heels look gorgeous, I would think nothing of it if you took them off. I’ll even carry them for you.” And he did. Swoon. I’m so sold.
Oh the title… yes, the man and I made it official a little while ago (didn’t want to jinx it). I have a boyfriend. I know! ALERT THE MEDIA.