Date night with Marina man was lovely. Drinks turned into dinner (which he insisted on paying for) and then turned into a walk on the beach, and I made it home by midnight. He’s a sweetie, and cute to boot, but something wasn’t quite right. I mean, apart from the fact he doesn’t want to travel (“I may go to Fiji one day, but have seen enough of the world on the news.”) and isn’t really interested in buying a house, we just seem to have nothing in common except the love of boating. I’m also skeptical to start anything, and then end up ending it, as we work right next to each other.
The reason I’m torn? Mr Christchurch (aka the traveller) – yes, he loves travelling, like me. This tweet was regarding him. He hasn’t moved to Auckland yet, so I’m not keen to put my whole life on hold for him. But at the same time he’s the only man I’ve ever met and felt immediately attracted to in every aspect. Even if it doesn’t turn out to be him who’s the lucky (*cough cough*) one to end up with me, surely it would be someone whom I have the same instant attraction to?
Turning 27 this year has made me realise I am super picky when it comes to men now, which everyone tells me is not a bad thing, and I agree. It also means I have realised I’d rather be single than with a lackluster man just for the hell of it.
Suggestions and advice welcome.
I’m not sure what to advise you, Bron. When I met my Mr. Right, I knew there was something special there but I’m not sure it was the instant attraction that you are describing… just a knowledge that something was possible. In saying that, we want a lot of the same things – not interested in working OEs, just lots of lovely holidays; we both wanted to settle down; family is very important to both of us… and the list goes on and on. It’s never going to be smooth sailing, whoever you choose. But when you can look at that person and see yourself growing old together, then it’s right.
Scribbles´s last [type] ..First Monthly Wine Club!
I’m with you on preferring to be single than with the wrong person. Having said that, not having much in common isn’t necessarily wrong in a relationship, but there needs to be enough common ground that neither of you feel restricted or pushed beyond your boundaries. I knew my now husband was the one within a week of our first date (which was about 3 months after we met) – it just felt right being together and wrong being apart. We don’t have all the same interests (actually very few) but it works.
Is Marina Man flexible about it at all?? If so, there may be some chance for him
) sounds like someone for you too though. You felt attraction to a lot of aspects of who he is and obviously you need some sort of chemistry.
Someone like Christchurch guy (whether it ends up being him or not
When I met the hubby, I was intrigued (for no real reason I can even understand – he piqued my interest but not in an attraction way) but we were seeing other people at the time. I thought of him as nothing more than a friend – there wasn’t even any faking of non-attraction. It just didn’t occur to us as an option. I just know that we were definitely meant to be. If I hadn’t met him the way I did, I would have met him another way…crazy but at the time his brother (who looks nothing like him) was dating my best friend and I had NO idea they were related!!!
I just knew we were meant to be involved with each other somehow because when some sh*t went down and he broke up with his gf and I was only seeing someone casually, I couldn’t shake the idea that we were meant to be in each other’s lives. As friends or more. There was no urgency or overanalysis. I knew we had the rest of our lives to figure stuff out. It was the weirdest sense of security. I think when you know, YOU KNOW. It was a slow burning realisation, but when it happened everything moved so fast it was a blur!!!!
Hubby and I do have some differing opinions on life stuff but I think the main thing is that our core values are similar and we have always found a way to make sure both our needs are met.
So my advice is that if you and Christchurch dude are meant to be, it will happen and there’s no need to stress. Have fun in the meantime!!! Just let everything play out. Both guys sound like they have pros and cons – we’re all human after all!
Kez´s last [type] ..Dramatic Music MURRRRDERRRRR PLAAAAAN Evil Laugh
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